While the topic is difficult, it’s a necessary and potent ingredient in the healing process. Controlling mentalities are at the root of codependence. Typically we have been controlled and have had submitted to unhealthy standards in our lives. This means people have often placed demands on us that caused us to believe we didn’t have the right to make choices. Just the same, we often adjusted to problems and deficiencies relationally by trying to manage and fix people and circumstances. This lead us into a maddening cycle of stress, fear, hopelessness and powerlessness.
Control patterns have been learned in our lives, and therefore can be reprogrammed. However, understand that this area of our life can’t change overnight. We will later explore boundaries as a vital ingredient in aiding us to establish a new way to approach the relational needs in our lives. Most of all, learning how to submit to the Spirit of God first will help us define how we can overcome.